"Enough With The Breathing Already"

For many people searching for a solid, no-nonsense therapist, the journey quickly turns frustrating. They come in ready to deal with real issues like stress, relationships, and personal growth. But instead, they find themselves face-to-face with the same worn-out playbook of trendy techniques. Whether it’s being asked to journal their feelings, whisper affirmations into a mirror, or "explore their inner child" through awkward role-play, it doesn’t take long for the session to feel more like performance art than practical help. These approaches are often pushed by therapists who focus more on trendy buzzwords and ideological scripts than on honest, real-world problem solving. The result is that people leave feeling unheard, annoyed, and more skeptical about therapy than ever before.

Here are four of the most commonly hated therapy techniques that clients say keep showing up in sessions, even though they never asked for them.

1. Journaling Assignments

What it is:
Therapists often give clients journaling as homework. This could mean writing about their day, unpacking emotions, or drafting letters to people from their past.

What it’s supposed to do:
The idea is to promote emotional insight, improve self-awareness, and help clients “process” their feelings between sessions.

Why people hate it:
Journaling feels like work, not healing. People with busy lives, kids, careers, or stress aren’t looking to come home and write essays about their emotions. It feels like something a therapist assigns when they don’t know what else to do.

"If journaling fixed everything, I’d have solved my problems with a notebook and a pen years ago."
"It felt like busywork—something to make me feel like I was making progress when I really needed help in the session, not homework outside of it."

2. Guided Meditation and Deep Breathing

What it is:
In this approach, therapists walk clients through slow breathing, visualization, or mindfulness exercises to help them calm down and stay present.

What it’s supposed to do:
Reduce anxiety, regulate stress, and build emotional control.

Why people hate it:
When someone is dealing with serious life stress—marital conflict, job loss, trauma—the last thing they want is to close their eyes and “visualize a peaceful meadow.” These exercises often come across as patronizing or disconnected from the real-world problems clients are trying to solve.

"The therapist told me to breathe through my panic attack. I needed a strategy, not a spa session."
"I came in angry about my custody battle, and she asked me to imagine a safe space. My safe space is winning that court case."

3. Chair Work (Empty Chair Technique)

What it is:
Clients are told to speak to an empty chair as if someone important—like a parent, ex-partner, or their younger self—is sitting in it. Sometimes they even switch chairs to “respond” as the other person.

What it’s supposed to do:
This is meant to bring out unresolved feelings and give clients a chance to say what they never got to say in real life.

Why people hate it:
For most grounded adults, this feels fake and juvenile. They want straight talk and useful feedback, not an acting exercise. The whole thing feels forced and disconnected from their goals.

"I couldn’t take it seriously. I kept thinking, ‘What am I even doing here?’"
"I didn’t come to therapy to pretend I’m having coffee with my dead father. I came to figure out how to stop repeating his mistakes."

4. Affirmations

What it is:
Clients are asked to repeat positive phrases like “I am enough” or “I am strong” as a way to boost their self-image.

What it’s supposed to do:
Affirmations are supposed to help replace negative self-talk and reinforce healthier beliefs.

Why people hate it:
Repeating phrases that feel completely disconnected from reality can actually make people feel worse. It can feel like they’re being asked to fake it instead of deal with the truth. Clients want a path forward, not a script of feel-good phrases that don’t change anything.

"It felt fake. Like I was supposed to ignore all my problems and pretend I’m fine."
"My therapist kept pushing affirmations, but I needed a plan—not a pep talk."

The Bottom Line

If you've bounced from therapist to therapist wondering why none of them seem to get it, you're not alone. These trendy techniques may work for some, but for many practical, results-driven people, they fall flat. Therapy shouldn't feel like a performance or a wellness retreat. It should feel like progress. You deserve a therapist who gets to the point, respects your time, and focuses on what actually works.

If you're tired of cringe in session and want grounded, straightforward help, you're the kind of person I work with. Reach out for a consultation at 802-521-0140 or email commonmantherapy@gmail.com. Let’s cut through the fluff and actually get to work.